Happy 1st Birthday Kensington Faith!
It's been one year since I met my promised, prayed for and perfect daughter. I received a new measure of love from Jesus when I held this precious 5lb, 3oz gift in my arms.
Before getting pregnant, I felt that I was emotionally and mentally ready to be pregnant, and to be so without fear. I thought for 37 weeks I had done a good job at being courageous. Looking back, the fears were present and at times robbed me of joy. There were days of numbness. Days that felt like I holding my breath in fear of "what if." But greater than that was a God given peace that covered, strengthened and carried me through it all. My anthem song was "It Is Well" by Bethel Music. Anytime worry crept in, these lyrics were my heart cry. My eyes had to be constantly redirected to Jesus. Trusting him in at ALL times.
Especially the 13 minutes before her first cry. As labor was at a stand-still, the doctor broke my water to get things moving. Kensi's heart rate instantly dropped and at one point reached zero. In controlled chaos I was prepped for surgey. My initial thoughts were "You've got to be kidding me, Lord. We are so close. Don't do this to me," but then turned to a repetitive "God I trust you."
It was the longest but quickest 13 minutes of my life. Then I heard her cry. I never knew how much I needed to hear that sweet sound. For me, that beautiful moment signified victory over a death pattern in my pregnancies. Healing for the broken places in my heart. Relief for my anxious thoughts. Peace for my fears. Restoration. Wholeness. Success. Faithfulness of a God who loves me.
Four years before she was born, The Lord told me I would have a daughter and I felt in my spirit that she was biological. Daily I'm in awe that she's here and I get to spend the rest of my life knowing her. God also told me there was healing in her hands. The day we left the hospital, we were taking some photos and she reached up grabbed my face and pulled me close to her. It took my breath away and I knew that God's words were true. It was a healing touch, a healing moment.
My prayer for her was that she would have gentleness and kindess of heart, strong in spirit and full of the joy of the Holy Spirit. She is as I prayed for. She is a precious princess with a warriors heart. God has used her for healing in my life and she will continue to do the work of healing in the name of Jesus.